Monday 23 December 2013
Wednesday 7 August 2013
Strange but true
Tuesday 6 August 2013
2 journeys
Wednesday 24 July 2013
Festival!
Monday 15 July 2013
It's the great British summer jump in!
Today was the second day in a row the mercury hit 30 + I'm told. Goddamn that smell likes TGBS to me! Suddenly we're comparing our high to exotic places all over the world! We're suddenly basking in that ball of yellow's finest rays! Sweet! It's the best time of the year by far! Even albinos love it there's always shade available for our Celtic friends fear not Scotland & Ireland treat it with respect and it will not harm you (in other words factor 50+ for you chaps) but enjoy it it comes but once a year and it doesn't alway last!
Wednesday 10 July 2013
I don't like cricket
Oh no! I love it Oh yeah! As 10cc so eloquently put it. Before you go Uh! Cricket! Booooring! Let me whey your appetite with my 2 favourite bits of sledging! No 1 is Glen McGrath (Australia) bowling to Zimbabwe's no 11 Eddo Brandes who was a bit of a heavy chap, McGrath frustrated as Brandes enquired "Why are you so fat?" Brandes replied " Cos every time I shag your wife she gives me a biscuit!" Burn!!! No 2 is Ian Botham (England) v Rodney Marsh (Australia) Marsh enquired "How's your wife and my kids?" Botham replied "The wife is fine but the kids are retarded!" Ouch!!! Cricket is the quintessential English game and here's how it's played.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game! Got that good next time I'll explain string theory! Still think it's boring watch Shane Warne's ball of the century and the high lights of the 2005 Ashes Series you won't be disappointed!
Friday 5 July 2013
Septic Tanks and Independence
Yesterday the Septics celebrated the start of 237 years of independence from the old country, why do I mention this now? Well I've recently had a couple Septics lodge at my humble abode and it goes like this Booby Tuesday's younger brother Biscuits is married to the Lil Texan as I call her, who I'd met before when I went to Texas for a cheeky holiday. Now the lil Texan has a sister who arrived first, I call her Texan. Next came lil Texan and finally Biscuits. Now I've been a bit naughty so if you're reading this and you're my landlord or you know my landlord turn your device off now! They brought a cat not just any old moggy a Texas wildcat called Dexter and if you listen carefully you can hear the southern drawl When he purrs at y'all. I should have posted this on actual independence day but I was at an Independence Day party funnily enough. So I thought I'd better say happy birthday Septics the last hundred years have been yours. By the power of Grey Stoke they put a man on the moon and dragged our technology into the the twenty first century with them and invented Hollywood and who doesn't like the pictures. Septics we almost forgive you for bringing Bush back!